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The web loves Justin Bieber. He’s the diminuitive Canadian 16 year-old pop star that keeps on giving. Already this year Bieber has been the subject of a pesky message board 4Chan plan to get him sent to North Korea and his antics have filled up internet tubes consistently. Recent highlights include a Youtube video of him escaping fans on a Segway scooter, footage of him walking into glass twice, tweeting the phone number of a hacker to his 4.5 million followers and bonding over Raekwon with Kanye on Twitter which now looks to be leading to a collaboration between the trio.
Even a former pop star, Mark Wahlberg remarked: “The world needs Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber is like a white Tupac compared to a lot of people out there.”
The latest Bieber sensation may be the best yet. A song appeared on the web last week which was Bieber’s hit U Smile slowed down by 800%.
J. BIEBZ – U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis
As a result of the slowing down, the song is now over 35 minutes long and is closer to the sound of Sigur Ros jamming with whales in a cold icy ocean. While the original is a potent and saccharine paean to a girl’s eh, smile, the slowed down version is a meandering barrage of crashing notes, ambient chord drones, stretched-out reverb-heavy vocals and lulls. It’s actually a beautiful calming piece of music that has more in common with Icelandic composer Johann Johannsson. It’s epic in feeling as well as in length. It’s the musical equivalent of the time-stretching effect in Inception.
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The longest drawn out viral mystery ever produced for the internet, iamamiwhoami, which I wrote about here back in January continues to periodically churn out interesting Youtube music videos without reaching a conclusion.
Originally, the enigmatic productions featuring a blonde woman and lots of vague symbolism was purported to be any one of a range of pop stars and musicians: guesses included Christina Aguilera, Goldfrapp, Lady Gaga, The Knife and Little Boots. None of these were correct and while there is no absolute reveal of the artist in question; many observers (myself included) believe the project is the work of Swedish singer Jonna Lee. The songs featured in the videos have become more memorable while the mystery has all but vanished. A commenter on my site Nialler9.com revealed that the single letter title of the most recent videos spell out ‘B-O-U-N-T-Y’ and that a simple internet domain search on the website iambounty.com reveals that that site is registered to Ms. Lee.
It’s a pity that the viral has dragged on so long, as it has inevitably lost interest of the course of the last seven months. A pity too because the most recent song was actually the best thing I’ve heard from the project. You can see all 12 of the videos here.
Another mystery long-awaiting an answer is “whatever happened to Lauryn Hill?”. The former Fugees singer and solo artist whose The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album was amongst the best of the ’90s has been absent from music for much of the new century and with gig cancellations, erratic behaviour and stalled recording sessions defining recent years. Hill finally broke the silence last week in an interview with NPR in the US where she talked about the reasons for why she stopped releasing music, her voice and a possible return to the stage. You can hear the whole interview.
Meanwhile, anarchic Photoshop-heavy message board 4Chan devised a cunning plan based around teeny bopper Justin Bieber’s upcoming world tour. Bieber is giving fans around the world an opportunity to decide where he performs. The pranksters at 4Chan have rallied around North Korea as the number one country of choice. The ploy has worked with North Korea at the top spot with over 460,000 votes closely followed by Israel. Somehow, I doubt that Kim Jong Il is the kind of guy who dances on his “ronery” to songs like ‘Baby’ but if he is, and he is truly an internet expert like he claims, then it may be ‘Great Leader’ himself who is doing all the voting.
See the final result.
In Linkage a few weeks ago, this page sent you humorously on your way to an add-on for the Firefox and Chrome browsers called Shaved Bieber. Don’t worry it’s nothing rude. With Justin Bieber now the biggest teeny pop star in the world it’s becoming practically impossible to use the web without encountering Bieber in a myriad of situations. Whether it’s a video of Bieber whacking his head off a glass door, not understanding what the word German means (“We don’t have that word in America.” ), a video of a young Bieber-obsessed fan who cries uncontrollably because she’s not married to him or his appearance on Saturday Night Live in the U.S., avoiding Biebermania can be difficult.
Enter – Shaved Bieber – a browser plugin designed to remove all mentions of the words “Justin” and “Bieber” from web searches, sites and even pictures. A simple install results in an eraser-like effect. Where the word “Bieber” once was, a solid block of colour now appears. It’s a silly little add-on from the same person, Greg Leuch, who brought us Lowercase Kanye – an add-on designed to let you read Yeezy’s blog in non ALL-CAPS demented form.
As you can imagine, Shaved Bieber wasn’t looked upon kindly by Bieber’s most-obsessive fans, who call themselves “Beliebers”, and Leuch has posted many of the rants and mails he has received as a result at shavedbieber.tumblr.com.
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How to remove Justin Bieber from your web experience – http://bit.ly/bieberban
How to build your own Iron Man suit – http://bit.ly/ironsuit
The 50 greatest hip-hop samples of all time – http://bit.ly/50samples
A panaromic photo of Kila at the Vantastival festival by Florian Knorn – http://bit.ly/panokila
The 14 original casting tapes for the characters of Lost – http://bit.ly/castlost
