On the Sigur Ros blog post entitled ‘Homage Or Fromage’, the band posted up examples of advertisements which they’re not saying necessarily plagiarise their music (they are saying that but for legal reasons aren’t saying it outright) but make them go ‘hmmmm’. There’s no denying the similarities in the ad music used to Sigur Ros’ tunes – change a note or chord here, keep that big sweeping crescendo and almost carbon-copy feel and you’ve got a new original composition. Everyone knows better though and that’s why Sigur Ros deserve some pity – there’s nothing they can do about it but make people aware it’s not them.

A couple of examples:

With Christmas ads already on the telly, it’s inevitable that there would be some movement in the Christmas number one stakes. After the success of Rage Against The Machine last Christmas, a Facebook group is campaigning for something a little more obscure. Enter Cage Against The Machine – the campaign to get composer John Cage’s 4’33, that’s four minutes and 33 seconds of silence – an avant garde slice of musical hokum – to the top of the charts.

It’s an idea that might swell with support. Various supporters on the Facebook page are having fun with it – one prefers the remix, one asks for the full-orchestra version and one says they “know a really good dance to this track”. It’s a great idea for another reason though – perhaps 273 seconds of silence broadcast during our hyper-accelerated culture-devouring lives is a good thing? A time to reflect. A time to just sit in silence and appreciate a few things. Sure, we have the Angelus but this wouldn’t be a religious thing. To date, over 17,000 people support the campaign. Let’s see where it goes in December.

Just 4,000 members short of that number is the Musicians Against Ryanair group which protests about the airline making musicians buy extra seats for musical equipment – the example given is a violin. The group was started by Irishman Keith Pascoe, a Cork-based member of the Vanbrugh Quartet who says the group now have to buy eight seats instead of five to bring their musical equipment. As if musicians didn’t have it bad enough already.

Even a former pop star, Mark Wahlberg remarked: “The world needs Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber is like a white Tupac compared to a lot of people out there.”

The latest Bieber sensation may be the best yet. A song appeared on the web last week which was Bieber’s hit U Smile slowed down by 800%.

J. BIEBZ – U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis

As a result of the slowing down, the song is now over 35 minutes long and is closer to the sound of Sigur Ros jamming with whales in a cold icy ocean. While the original is a potent and saccharine paean to a girl’s eh, smile, the slowed down version is a meandering barrage of crashing notes, ambient chord drones, stretched-out reverb-heavy vocals and lulls. It’s actually a beautiful calming piece of music that has more in common with Icelandic composer Johann Johannsson. It’s epic in feeling as well as in length. It’s the musical equivalent of the time-stretching effect in Inception.

There were doubts that the track was legitimate, with many wondering whether this was another 4Chan prank but you can speed the file back up yourself and hear it in its original form. The track is attributed to Shamantis, an ambient artist from Tampa, Florida who did it for fun and who has since claimed after 1.65 million plays, that he’s been offered some record label deals.

It didn’t take any special skill. Using a free open-source program called PaulStretch , anyone can do it and many have. While myopic websites have called it a new genre (eh, it’s not), the track has kicked off a minor revolution in DIY remixing with songs like the rickroll original Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up, Miley Cyrus’ Party In The USA and Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go Go getting the same treatment.

That’s not the only Bieber-related audio splurge which happened recently. Back in July, dystopian brooklyn rapper El-P joked on Twitter he would remix a Bieber song if someone sent him an acapella.

The resulting joke track featured Paul McCartney’s Live and Let Die spliced with Bieber warblings. It was awful, but that was the point. The 800% slowed down Bieber track is closer to an ambient masterpiece. Stick it on next time you need to relax.

Portishead for Amnesty
Gloom-hop purveyors Portishead have released a new track entitled Chase The Tear. All proceeds of the sale of the single go towards Amnesty International.
http://www.portishead.co.uk

Biggus Diccus
If you’re a fan of Spinal Tap and Eagles of Death Metal, click over to Bandcamp where Ireland’s premier providers of hard cock-rocking riffs Biggus Diccus are waiting for you to climb their flagpole of love. Download their album Twelve Inches Of Love for free.
http://biggusdiccus.bandcamp.com

New Jónsi
From the forthcoming solo album by the Sigur Ros frontman comes the first taster in the form of Boy Lilikoi, a sweeping orchestral song featuring strings from Nico Muhly. He’s singing in English on this one.
http://jonsi.com

2. Lost as Muppet Babies
Dialogue from Lost characters dubbed over footage of the Muppet Babies (Sawyer as Animal, Jack as Kermit) results in a weirdly existential and funny clip.


3. Hudson Plane simulation
A computer-generated simulation of Flight 1549, the plane which crashed in the Hudson River is recounted with actual audio as it happens.

4. Sigur Ros Takeaway Show
The notoriously difficult band give a stirring performance in a Parisian café worthy of the prolonged anticipation and a wait for two drum brushes.